Pain
by Narye-Ah
Summary: Pain. A four letter word that can mean so much. You see it everywhere. A husband dies, you see pain in the wives eyes. But it's not just somebody dying, it's seeing somebody you love do something stupid. Thats what she saw. All that you see in her eyes is


A/n i know i haven't finished my other stories and i dont plan to. They arent going anywhere so i might as well do something else. I hope this does better. Please review. Flames are welcome, but be gentle.

disclaimer: I don't plan on writing this every chapter so, i dont own anything unless otherwise noted. thank you for not suing.

Summary: Pain. A four letter word that can mean so much. You see it everywhere. A husband dies, you see pain in the wives eyes. But it's not just somebody dying, it's seeing somebody you love do something stupid. Thats what she saw. All that you see in her eyes is pain. She resorts to letting her pain out, but the question is on what, or rather, who?

Chapter 1: Trying to let go

A tear hit the ground, the dirt soaking it up. She sat on the ground staring at her reflection in the water before her. She lightly traced the framing of her face with her finger. Then suddenly she became angry and roughly hit the water with her fist. _How couldn he do that to me? I thought he loved me. It was all a lie. How could i have ever loved him. I hate him. _She scooted back until she hit a tree. She leaned her head back with her eyes closed and hummed a light tune. She slowly reached a hand up to feel the bark. She had always loved the rough texture of the bark beneath her fingers, but when her hands hit the supposed tree she jumped back in fear. She turned around and saw the one person she had not expected to see ever again. _Sesshoumaru.._ Her thoughts raced wildly. She thought she'd never see him again since he left her.

"Why are you alone and crying?" he asked in his famous monotone voice.

"Why do you care all of the sudden?" she asked matching his tone.

"You've changed. You have never been this cold to me. What happened?" he asked narrowing his eyes at her.

"You're right, I have changed. i don't see the point in telling someone what happened when they can't show a single emotion." she said staring him in the eye. She did want to tell him. She just couldn't bring herself tell him for some reason. She didn't want to cry in front of him anymore. He already thought of her as weak, her being a human and all. She didn't want to seem anymore weak then she already was. She wanted to present herself as a stronger person to him, so she hid her emotions and put on an icy fa ade. It seemed to be working so she wasn't going to let up.

"What happened to you to become this way. You were never like this. You promised." he said wanting to get through to her and maybe she would let him comfort her in anyway possible. he wanted to hold her, even if it seemed wrong to him in reality. He didn't want to lose the girl he once knew.

"I already told you! Are you fucking deaf now? I would hardly believe that, now get it through your arrogant think ass skull. I'm not gonna fucking tell you. Now drop it goddamn it!! And don't talk to me about keeping promises, you broke yours as well. " she yelled at him. She was tired of trying to explain herself to him. He just didn't seem to want to hear it.

He turned his head so she wouldn't see his face. He was displeased with how she was acting it just wasn't like her whatsoever. He didn't like hear those words come from her precious mouth that had never used a profane word if his memory served him correctly. "You're hurting." he said looking back at her.

"How would you know what it's like to hurt, huh? How?!" she looked hard at him."Answer me dammit!" She got up and walked over to him. He just looked at her and wanted badly to know what happened to her. "Why wont you answer me?"

"It is my choice to talk to you as it is your choice to talk to me," he and walked away leaving her with her mouth slightly gaping at him.

"Why that stupid son-of-a-bitch, "she said watching him walk away. She walked back over to the water and sat down. She drew her knees up to her chest and slightly began to rock. Tears began to form in her eyes and they began to disobey her and fell. "I'm sorry. Please come back, "she sniffed as more tears fell," I want to talk to somebody." She sobbed into her knees and shook her head lightly.

She was unknowingly being watched by a pair of familiar eyes that wanted so bad to reach out and hold her as she cried. He heard what she had said and wanted to walk back over there and hold her in his arms so she would talk to him. "Why?'' he asked into the wind. He sighed wiped his hand over his face and spoke quietly, "Rin."

I think I should end it here, but im actually happy with the way this is turning so on with the story

Rin woke up next to the river and sat up. _Ohhh, my head hurts. _She suddenly recalled the events that had occurred the previous night and tears threatened to fall. "I can't believe I actually yelled at him." she said looking in the water to see just how bad she looked. "Not the best I've looked, but definitely not the worst." she shrugged her shoulders and smoothed out her hair and stood up stretching tall as a tree. "Well, might as well head back now." she began walking in the direction of Kaede's hut, she knew she should return soon or her actual friends would become worried at her absence.

2 hours later

She saw the village come into view and she slowed her pace down a bit. She had practically power walked the whole way there. Her legs began to get sore and she sat down. She decided to use this to her advantage, well, at least somewhat. She needed to think about what _he_ was going to say when he saw her disheveled appearance. Would he care at all and turn his head and looked the other way? She finally reached the conclusion that she would do as she did with Sesshoumaru and hide her emotions and pass it off as of she could care less what he thought of her. If he tried to talk to her, which she was hoping he would, she would either ignore him or talk in a type riddling way to him. She wanted him to be mad at himself for making her so upset and angry. He had seen her begin to cry lightly when she saw him and _her _together. She couldn't believe what she had seen when she walked up to the God's Tree. She hid behind the tree as she watching the images play out in front of her. He caressed her face and pulled _her_ into a loving embrace and then kiss her passionately. She almost puked right then and there but she held it back. Her eyes began to water as she recalled what he had recently told her. _I love you._ He said it so full of love and truth, you couldn't help but believe him. It made her sick to even remember what she saw happening.

Flashback

"_I love you Kikyo, I'll never leave you, I could never do that," he said holding her tightly._

"_Then why did you tell the human child you loved her?" Kikyo asked looking up. "I said that so she would trust me and help us find shards, she is a miko in training and can the shards better than Kagome ever could. We needed to use her for that reason. I thought maybe if I gained her trust and made her think I loved her she would stay longer and not try to return to her master." he said as if he had practiced it many times before. _

"_I understand, I actually find it quite brilliant." "Thank you," he said and then kissed her with great passion. _

_end flashback_

The tears brimmed her eyes and threatened greatly to fall and betray her plan to make him feel as shitty as possible, in all reality, all she wanted to do was run into his arms and not be angry at him. She got up and trudged over towards the hut and slowly walked inside to see the one thing she didn't want or think she would ever see. He was with _her_. In their hut. _How could he? How DARE he bring that skanky dead bitch in our home?!? _She was furious, yet she could actually contain it due to the fact that she could see that thing with him, it flared her anger to new levels of death glares. She sent a mild glare but it went unnoticed. "Hello Kaede, Sango, Miroku." she said nodding her head in their direction as she said their names.

"Hey Rin," they replied solemnly.

"Hi Rin," he actually had the audacity to speak to her after he knew what she saw. She had Hell's fury behind her eyes and she almost let him see just so he could see how evil she can truly look and be. All she did, however, was turn her head away._ This is going to be a long day. _Rin said sitting beside Sango.

can you guess who the prick head who was an ass to Rin?? Im sure you can, so ttyl

A/n So? What do ya think?? It's a little different. I normally would write a A/U story, but im saving that for later. Well, I gotta go, please review, I hope you like it!!

_Ja ne!_

_Narye-ah_


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